Be a life-giver… not a life-sucker

By Colleen Francis

When dealing with problems or adversity, salespeople generally fall into one of two categories—they're either 'life suckers' or 'life givers'. Life suckers blame others for their actions and results, whereas life givers take responsibility and ownership for their actions and get results. The top sales people are life givers. Those who are always looking for solutions to challenges are salespeople with a life giving attitude. They embrace the fact that their jobs—our jobs!—require that they act responsibility. Rather than wasting time tracing blame, they move forward by creating solutions.

As responsible adults, nobody makes us think or do anything. We are responsible for our actions as well as our thoughts, opinions, assumptions and conclusions. They belong to us. We choose to think or act a certain way. Taking responsibility is a matter of choice.

When someone says: the customer stressed me out; the prospect pressured me; or my manager made me do this, what they are really saying is that others control them. It's as if they expect us to believe that some kind of "others" phantom crept into their body, taking control of what they think and do. Life does not imitate a Hollywood horror film. It's up to each of us to choose how we feel and act.

As a side note - as a consultant I regularly am asked to evaluate talent on a sales team. There are tell tale signs of failure to me. One critical sign is the answer to this question:

Tell me about your last loss. What happened? A sales rep that makes excuses - "its shipping's fault we lost the deal" is doomed to fail. A sales rep that takes ownership - "I should have qualified the lead better" is destined for greatness. My accuracy at determining success or failure of a rep is 95% with this one question.

Sure, bad things can happen—and they happen even to the best salespeople. None of us can choose or control every event that occurs in our lives—especially the ones that affect our business. Have you ever lost a sale to a prospect that was acquired before you had the contract signed? Have you ever had a sale to a government department wind up in limbo because of an unexpected spending freeze imposed while you were in final negotiations? These are examples of situations that as salespeople we can't control—but we can always choose our response to how to deal with them.

Consider the conduct expected of first-year cadets at military colleges across North America. They are only allowed to respond to their instructors in one of three ways: "Yes Sir," "No Sir," and "No excuses, Sir!" If a cadet fails to complete an assignment (and the circumstances are deemed irrelevant), the cadet must assume responsibility by stating "No excuses, Sir!" The purpose here is to create an ownership (life giving) attitude. It's that kind of self-discipline and ownership that will serve you well in your career.

How often have you neglected to follow-through on a commitment you made to yourself: making a specific number of cold calls in a day; completing a tough assignment; hitting your targets; or closing a sale with a specific customer? Does your personal life often reflect this habit? For instance, do you ever start a diet, an exercise program or a hobby and never carry it through? Has it ever reached the point that when you decide on a goal, your inner voice says: "Who are you kidding? You'll never follow through!" Those kinds of lies undermine your confidence to address issues and to effect change. That's why it's important for you to train and condition to believe yourself.

Here are four exercises you can try every day to make sure your attitude is an ownership attitude:

1. Associate only with life-givers

You have complete control over who you spend your time with, so choose wisely. Being around positive people will improve your outlook and your attitude. This is not easy and it does require cutting off access to people you know are life suckers. Short term pain for long term gain - and profits!

2. Look good to feel good!

The following exercise is something learned from Anthony Robbins, a master of human performance. Take note of your physiology when you're feeling your best—when everything is going your way and you're in a terrific mood. How do you walk? How loud is your voice? Do you gesture? Are you sitting or standing? Do you talk quickly or slowly? Do you stand tall or slouch?

Once you've made your list, carry it with you. Memorize it. The next time you're in a slump and want to change your attitude, pull out your list and begin consciously acting the way you do when you're feeling great. It may feel unnatural at first, but soon you'll find yourself in a better mood. Remember, it's easier to act your way into a new sense of feeling, than it is to feel your way into new sense of acting!

Stop showing up to work looking your ½ best. Press your pants, put on a clean ironed shirt and dress like you want to strut! Seems trivial I know but its true. The way you look on the outside will reflect the way you feel on the inside. My mother-in-law likes to remind me that there is no such thing as an ugly person, just a lazy one! Ouch… I think about that too often when I am caught grocery shopping in a ball cap and sweats. (As they say, the truth will set you free… but first it will really piss you off!)

3. Laugh, learn and take responsibility

When something bad happens, look for the good in it and take full responsibility for the bad. Among salespeople, those who aren't afraid to admit when they're wrong are the same who comprise the ranks of the top performers. Customers don't have time for mistakes and blame. Being honest or "coming clean" makes you more trustworthy and earns you something that's truly invaluable—a reputation for integrity. So the next time you make a mistake, ask yourself what you can learn from it. Then take that lesson and use it.

4. Train your mind for success by achieving a realizable goal every day

In life, people often get into a negative rut because they feel they aren't making progress. If that sounds familiar, then try setting a small but achievable goal for yourself every day. Make a list. Write down each goal, and when you've achieved each one, cross it off. Before too long you'll have a pattern of successful achievement that will help you develop a pattern of positive thinking.

5. Keep a success journal

Make note of your success and visit them regularly. It's important to remember how far you have come and celebrate those successes. Each time you achieve a goal, recognize that accomplishment before you go on. Reward yourself. When you are facing a tough time, pull out your success journal and get excited about all the wins you have had. Remind yourself, if you were successful yesterday, you can be successful tomorrow.

Take ownership of your behavior and assumptions. Remember, no one made you come up with your thoughts, opinions, assumptions and conclusions. And only you can steer things right.


Colleen Francis, Sales Expert, is Founder and President of Engage Selling Solutions (www.EngageSelling.com). Armed with skills developed from years of experience, Colleen helps clients realize immediate results, achieve lasting success and permanently raise their bottom line.

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Rave Reviews for Colleen
What ought to pass for common sense is, in fact, not practiced often enough by salespeople and other professionals. Colleen helped us avoid making those mistakes. We enjoyed the last year working with Colleen. She is ever the consummate professional with great insight into selling over the phone.
Mark Volk, Director, Business Services & Supprt, Platform

Thank you for yesterday's (my first) Town Hall meeting. You gave me 2 tips that are already increasing my success rate. 1. The 'pause': it does work. I stopped talking with a prospect after 30 seconds of introduction and waited. Tons of information came forth! 2. Using an EXACT time in a voicemail that I would call back resulted in 100% attendance this morning on my follow-up calls: people were at their desk waiting for my call, and impressed when I did call. Incredible. I am thrilled by your brilliance! Thanks.
Jennifer Krueger, Regional Manager, Global Corporate Challenge

Literally, 30 minutes after my first teleconference with Colleen I was on the phone applying concepts and strategies I learned that enabled me to effectively move forward a deal accounting for 57% of my quota for the entire sales quarter!
Raj Shahani, Yahoo!

Colleen takes the time to understand your requirements and tailor her sales training solutions to your specific needs, even taking into account individuals within the team. Her training has resulted in many "aha!" moments for my sales team, and our steadily increasing sales show the training is having an effect. Highly personable, trustworthy and consistent, you would be hard pressed to hire better than Colleen.
Tim Welch, Regional Sales Director, Grand & Toy

It was my distinct pleasure to attend with Ron and Lynn from my team. It has focused me and given me the chance to step back for a moment, take stock of what is really important, rally my thoughts, strategies and tactics, and get back to more productive work. I will be making changes this week (already implemented one last week) that will change the way my sales team functions!
Tim Welch, TalkSwitch

I feel like I am brimming over with action items and am already starting to implement some of the things I learned. I cannot wait to be able to report on the success of some of the new techniques my sales team and I will be implementing!
Autumn Shirley, CEO, FundRaiser Software

Engage Selling Solutions is the number-one secret weapon I use in my business to sell more... a lot... in less time!
Patrick Gant, thinkit creative

I just wanted to tell you about my success yesterday using your voice mail technique. I was getting frustrated trying to reach this potential client, and David reminded me to keep trying, and I left a message yesterday morning advising her I would call her back at 3pm, and sure enough she answered the phone (finally) and I got the search from her.
Helen Lightfoot, Regional Sales Director, HelmsBriscoe

I am looking forward to our sales team working with Colleen on an on-going basis because I feel that it's important to reinforce what we learned in her seminar. Consistency is the key. Sales skills need to be practiced constantly, in order to become habit. Our targets are aggressive this year; Colleen gave us the tools to get there.
Jim Cummings, President, Cummings Mitchell

I just wanted to take a moment to thank-you for the very informative and refreshing sales strategies you presented. I gained some new knowledge, and was reminded of a few things I had forgotten over time. I think virtually any business could benefit from your common-sense approach to sales.
Steve Milcik, Business Development, Orion Software

Thank you for a wonderful seminar and experience. It was one of the best and most useful seminars I have attended. I am reviewing the material and notes I took, and developing an action plan. I will be making a number of positive changes to my business thanks to your seminar.
Keith Christopher, Principal, KC Surveys

I have worked with Colleen for almost 2 years and have applied a number of her sales strategies with great success. The first time I met Colleen she said something that has resonated with me ever since... it takes 9 to 11 call attempts to get a meeting and most sales professionals quit calling after 5 or 6. This simple hint from Colleen helps me set realistic expectations for myself, helps motivate me to keep calling and gives me confidence in knowing that if I persevere, the meetings will come.
Judy Duncanson, Senior Account Manager, ProVision IT Resources

Colleen Francis was great, very energetic and knowledgeable. She adjusted quickly and used specific industries, and encouraged audience participation.
David Gajich, St. Marys Cement

Having worked with Colleen and Engage Selling, her style, approach and innovative way of presenting sales results has enhanced the selling skills of many of our sales associates. With over 1,000 associates worldwide, Colleen has had the opportunity of working with many of them over the past 4 years. On many occasions, she has produced great results and continues to mentor many of our associates. It is this relationship with Colleen that has dramatically helped our sales understanding and altered our approach. Engage Selling is an integral part of our ongoing sales training.
Peter Shelly, Executive Vice President, HelmsBriscoe

I wanted to thank you for your advice. I closed my first sale this week and it was surprisingly easy! I used a lot of the techniques you suggested and I also knew from experience when it was closed and when to stop talking. Funny, I expected to negotiate on price but I didn't need to. I knew what my competitors were charging and that was enough for my prospect.
Carol Laidlaw, Laidlaw Financial

I've been using the protocols Colleen teaches in recent weeks to modify my approach to client follow-up and proposal development. What a world of difference it has made is securing commitment from prospects for dates, potential budget, or project scope. I am now able to secure these critical sales details when I need it, up front & fast!
Jen Hetzel Silbert, Partner, Innovation Partners

You, Colleen and the Engage brand stand out head and shoulders from your competitors and from the general business community. Colleen's understanding and recognition of the fiscal struggles small companies face is heartening. I would recommend Colleen and Engage Selling to any business people hoping to increase their competitive advantage. Her sincerity and desire to help small businesses and sales people be the best they can be is clear and very welcome!
Jan Vincent, JV Consulting

Colleen's vibrant personality lights up a room. Having done her homework on our organization prior to meeting with the group, she was able to apply her principles to relevant sales scenario's we're facing. The entire sales group is better equipped with a handful of valuable learning's to apply to our account base. What's more, we all still continue to find ourselves rehashing and applying her insights... six months later!
Daron Rosenbusch, Marketing Manager, SupremeX

Colleen, Your ecourse was a great learning experience for me. I've applied your ideas and suggestions and it really works!!! Prospecting was my biggest nemesis... it isn't anymore. I get weekly appointments, followed by quotations and committed orders.
Julie Zenga

After almost 20 years in the staffing industry, cold calling USED TO BE one of my least favorite activities. Colleen's 3 step cold calling technique has worked wonders for me! I actually enjoy the process now and have had great success in getting my calls returned. Thanks Colleen!
Judy Duncanson, Senior Account Manager, ProVision IT Resources

Colleen's Negotiation Keynote offered new ideas and reasons why we should change some of our older sales tactics. We were able to learn from Colleen's real life sales experience as she shared with us many things that have and do work and many things that don't!
Mike Cutrone, Etobicoke Ironworks

It was such fun having Colleen on site. We were able to accomplish lots of work in a short periods of time all the while enjoying her enthusiasm, boundless energy and creative ideas. She's the greatest; we give her our highest recommendations!
Peggy Shepley, FundRaiser Software

In the day and half since our meeting in Chicago, I have seen a better response to the Voicemails I am leaving. First of all, each of the "I will call you tomorrow at ____ " have been waiting for my call at the time I called. So already this morning I have had 4 meaningful conversations, and found 2 leads that need proposals next week. I cannot tell you enough how pleased I am to have had you speak to us. Your training is fantastic
Christian Torresluna, Commercial Account Officer, First American Equipment Finance

I selected Colleen as I desired to get someone to "engage" the team to think about how they develop their business within the 122 markets globally. Her presentation kicked off the conference and kept 130+ sales & marketing professionals entertained and enlightened. Response has been positive as the team appreciated hearing Colleen's perspective. Thank you for contributing to a very successful conference!
Kevin Kirby, Senior Director of Sales, Hard Rock International

Colleen's energetic and invigorating style kept the audience entertained while imparting invaluable ideas and information. The attendance for her presentations was excellent. Here are just a few of the comments we received from the attendees, "Excellent presentation, easy to understand." "Practical ideas, great seminar - could easily be much longer." She is professional, upbeat and specific in her references to customers and their behaviour and she really understands the true-to -life challenges of the retail environment.
Margo Warren, Special Events Manager, Canadian Gift and Tableware Association

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