Darren Hardy: Goal-Setting Doesn't Work

Darren Hardy: Goal-Setting Doesn't Work
(And Santa Claus doesn't really exist either)

Darren Hardy

When we were kids, we thought we could write down everything we wanted and mail it to the North Pole, and then, magically, all our desires would appear, on schedule, under the tree in our living room, complete with pretty paper and a bow. When we grew up, we realized there wasn’t really a big roly-poly guy who fl ew around the world in a single night on a sled pulled by reindeer, squeezed down our chimney and delivered those presents. We found out a real person had to go out and sacrifice, earn the money, march through the shopping malls, wrestle the thing home, put it together, wrap it up and place it under the tree.

I think many people must still believe in Santa Claus. You cannot simply write down a list of wants on New Year’s Day, stick it in a drawer for the rest of the year and wait around for your life to change. Sorry, but it’s time to grow up and get serious. Most people know how to write down their goals, but few know how to achieve them. I would like to help you move from goal-setting, rainbow-chasing, wishing upon a star and lamp-rubbing to achieving actual results in the areas of your life in which you dedicate yourself. This article will help you get your start.

WARNING: Achievement requires work, discipline, commitment, maybe some heartache and a stiffened spine. If any of that makes you queasy, I invite you to continue reading.

The Cause of All Your Problems—And the Solution

When I ask people what they want to improve in their lives, I hear things like, “I need to make more money” or “My marriage is unhappy” or “I need to lose weight.”

But these are simply symptoms, or outcomes, of the problem. The cause of the problem is you—and this is probably one of the most sobering understandings you can reach as you work toward your stated goals. Whatever it is you want to change—your marriage, your financial situation, your weight—you’ll never achieve lasting change until you change. Once you improve, everything else around you will improve.

You don’t get in life what you want; you get in life what you are. You will only have the level of success in any area of your life that equals your level of self-worth. But the human tendency is to engage in the study of effects, while giving little attention to the cause.

I see this travesty played out every day. People complain about their terrible marriage, and so they leave it. Oddly enough, they end up with similar problems in the next relationship. Why? Because they didn’t address the real problem. The same set of circumstances and patterns of behavior will create the same outcome. Some people go from diet plan to diet plan, losing weight and then gaining it all back. Why? Because the plan and the weight aren’t the issues or the solutions; they are, and the weight will ultimately meet them back where they are.

"Wherever you are in life right now is your own doing—good or bad"

The first step to changing the trajectory of your life, as well as what you achieve and sustain, is to take complete responsibility for your circumstances today. Wherever you are in life right now is your own doing— good or bad, it’s your fault. Your parents aren’t responsible, the economy isn’t, McDonald’s isn’t; you are. You are 100 percent responsible for everything—by what you did, what you didn’t do or how you responded to what was done to you. Once we get that straight, then we can get to the heart of how to fix or improve any outcome as you desire.

Here is how it works, let’s say my goal is to earn an additional $100,000 next year. The question is not, What is going to make me $100,000 next year? The question is, Who do I need to become to earn an additional $100,000?

Example:
Goal: I am earning an extra $100,000 in income this year.
Question: Who do I have to become to achieve this?
Answer: I am a smart, confi dent and effective leader. I seek and cultivate the strength and greatness in everyone around me. I am a Goal Setting. disciplined master of time effi ciency. I focus solely on high-payoff and high-productivity actions. I wake up an hour earlier and review my priority objectives each morning. I fuel my body properly and exercise four days a week so that I am energetic and highly effective each work hour. I feed my mind ideas and inspiration that will support and bolster my passion. I surround myself with peers and mentors who elevate my expectations and prod me to rise to greater levels of discipline, commitment and achievement.

Action—Yes, You Have to Actually Work

Now, contrary to movie lore, you can’t just sit on your tush in your living room imagining checks coming into your mailbox. If you do, you won’t have that living room for long. You have to act on your plans. You have to get off the couch, walk out your door and productively make something happen to get what you want in life. Doing has to follow planning.

So what do you do? Once you’ve decided who you need to be in order to accomplish your goals, you have to fi gure out how this elevated person operates. How does this person show up in the world? If you are unsure, if you lack a vision of your potential, fi nd a model. Emulating the habits of someone you respect is one of the greatest keys to moving from where you are to where you could be.

Who has already achieved the income level you seek? How do they walk, talk, dress, shake hands and interact with others? What time do they get up, what do they talk about, wha t do t hey read, how do they prospect, how do they present, how do they manage their time, keep themselves accountable, etc.?

Who has the depth of intimacy and love in their marriage that you want in yours? How do they talk to each other? How do they listen to each other? What special things do they do for each other? How do they treat each other’s families, friends and colleagues? If you find the answers to those questions and act on them yourself, you, too, can have the marriage your model has created.

Creating a Strategic Plan of Action for Your Life

Whether you know it or not, you are a multimillion-dollar enterprise. That is how much you will actually earn over a lifetime, or how much you could earn. Any multimillion-dollar business needs a comprehensive business plan and a well-designed strategic plan of action. To do business without one is nearly certain disaster. So it is for your life, too.

In January and February, I w i l l be conducting a series on my blog (DarrenHardy.SUCCESS.com) to take you through a process for designing a strategic plan of action for your life. The title sums it up: “Design the Best 10 Years of Your Life—A Personal Strategic Plan for Achieving BIG GOALS & Designing t he Life You Have Always Wanted.” The purpose is to help you access your greatest potential and live a life most people only fantasize about. Remember, you are the driver on this journey, and your goals become the road map. Before you begin, it is important to take a step back to gain perspective on exactly what direction you want to travel. Too often, you see people focusing exclusively on one area of their lives at the sacrifice of every other area—a big mistake that can lead to heartache and regrets.

"Most goals aren't realized. Why? Making a wish list isn't enough."

Have you ever seen a guy who has giant muscular arms but skinny legs? Looks a bit ridiculous, right? That’s how some people’s lives look. Too much focus in one area and not enough in another. We all pity the man who has the big house on the hill filled with expensive cars and trinkets yet no one to share them with.

We often see people who have become successful in one area of life, but are utter disasters in many other areas. Tabloid magazines are full of this kind of drama, with headlines of bitter divorces, drunk driving arrests, family feuds, racist rants, bulimia, drug rehab, depression and suicide attempts. Many of these same people, the ones many Americans idolize, are some of the most unhappy, insecure and depressed people you will find. Why? Well, one reason has to do with what we have covered—the You Factor. Their extraordinary income far exceeded their actual personal development and feelings of self-worth, and money only exasperated their troubled feelings. Secondly, their focus on succeeding in one area of life created a great imbalance with the other areas.

During the pursuit of what you want in one area of your life, be careful what you sacrifice in other areas. Also, be aware of the price you must pay to achieve the prize you seek. Some prizes might cost too much, and they might only be realized after payment has been made.

The Wheel of Life, to the left, is a tool to help you assess where you are in terms of the effort and focus you exert in every area of your life versus where you would like to be. It’s helpful in making sure you aren’t making undue sacrifices that take a toll on other aspects of your life. For instance, you might need to focus on becoming more valuable in the marketplace so you can get out of debt and regain financial freedom, but not at the complete sacrifice of your family. Or, you want to be a more attentive wife or mother, but not at the complete sacrifice of your health and well-being.

As I mentioned in my Publisher’s Letter, now is the time to write the script for the life you have always dreamed of having—the health, the relationships, the thriving business, the financial abundance and freedom, and the knowledge that you are making a significant difference in the world and with the people around you. You can have it all, but it will require you to get serious and relinquish the fantasies that debt fairies will leave a stack of cash under your pillow while you sleep or that the Easter Bunny will bring you miracle diet chocolate, or that you can click your heels and your relationships will all be better. It will take rigorous planning, relentless commitment and steadfast dedication. That is why success is reserved for the willing few.

Pick up Darren Hardy’s Design Your Best Year Everworkbook and planning guide. Based on 20+ years of refined study, practice and execution, Darren teaches the specific system he developed and used to design, execute, follow through on and achieve BIG goals. Click here now for more details or to order.


http://www.successmagazine.com/darren-hardy-goalsetting/PARAMS/article/920

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Goal Setting vs Goal Winning
October 1, 2010 8:03 PM
There's a lot of meat in this post. I really resonated with the point about how your goals are not just a wish list. You also mentioned becoming the person you want to be.

Goals setting is not just making a list and working hard thinking you're going to arrive safe and sound. It's about seeing, believing, and achieving your goals.

Finding out what type of person looks, acts, walks, talks, shows confidence, has charisma... if that person resonates with you and they are making the money you want to make, then you need to look within and correct the problem.

Ken Pickard
The Network Dad

Right to the Point
July 29, 2010 9:04 PM
Sometimes you hear these advise, and they just remain sounds or letters. Your article reached me today, and became something I now own. Thank you!
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Finding Balance
March 12, 2010 1:25 AM
This year I've been resilient about grabbing hold of my finances and working to reach financial freedom. However, I am also pleased to hear Darren's words about making sure to find balance in the process, since most people who fight for one side of the wheel of life end up hurting other sides of the wheel. Thank you for the wonderful article!
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Inspired
February 20, 2010 6:57 AM
I have never heard of Darren Hardy until a friend sent me his article on the benefits of failure. My interest was peaked and hence found his website/blog. What a breath of fresh air! Darren takes the 'pointed finger (with 3 pointing back at you) approach - I love it! As mentioned by another blogger, I love the Santa Claus analogy, (but I will continue to believe in Santa with my young grandchildren):-) I look forward to stretching myself more and creating more failures for the next decade.
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It's not about goal setting, it's about goal achievement
January 4, 2010 10:33 AM
Great article, Darren. You developed a purposeful metaphor that should stick with people longer than what many of us have tried before with our clients and audiences. Hopefully they heed the advice and use it to help them achieve their objectives this year and beyond. All the best in 2010!
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Goals are overated, what you really need are intentions
December 31, 2009 10:51 PM
I've written down thousands of goals over my years that I've never achieved, but I've always achieved my intentions. Goals are merely wishes, but intentions are purposes, aims, and accomplishment. Try making a list of intentions this year instead.
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GOAL SETTING
December 24, 2009 3:09 PM
WOW THIS IS SO TRUE.. I WILL LISTEN TO EVERY THING DARREN HARDY HAS TO SAY ABOUT SUCCESS. THANKS DARREN HARDY...
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goals + actions = success
December 23, 2009 11:08 PM
Pray to God but row to shore. That was my mantra this year. Prior to repeating that proverb I would always write down lists, the bigger the paper the bigger the list. The problem was that I wasn't getting anywhere.

Earlier this year I wrote on a small piece of paper "I will have 3 jewelry parties a month.â?? Then I proceeded to make calls, more calls and more calls. I have since been having 5-8 parties a month.

So when I received this copy of Success and read this article I was blown away because I didn't realize that this is what I was doing.

Since I started reading this magazine I've been motivated to do more for my business. I am on the right track.

FYI - I believe in Santa
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No Santa??
December 10, 2009 4:53 PM
I AM THE CAUSE AND THE SOLUTION! Powerful article thank you Darren. I am reminded of several things clarity is power, there is no substitute for good planning and find a role model. But what do you mean Santa Claus Doesn't exist?
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The Quote That Will Change My Life
December 9, 2009 11:33 AM
"You donâ??t get in life what you want; you get in life what you are."
That sums it all up for me.
However.
I will be printing this out and rereading it when ever I need a reminder to put away the remote and put my work boots (uh, mine are black leather with a two inch heel and worn with skirts) on.
Thank You.
Moxie Baker
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Spending Health to Gain Wealth
December 1, 2009 12:31 PM
I liked how you tied in the Holiday season with the common misconception of success. I have never seen the parallel between Santa and goal setting. Now every time I see a "Santa's list" I am going think about goal setting and more importantly my action plan to get my goal accomplished.

I heard a great quote that sums up most of the "successful" people in our great nation. "They spend their health to obtain wealth, only to then spend their wealth to regain their health." Can't remember who said the quote but this saying helps keep me balanced.